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Three
years after the death of her mother, Meryl Ain was still unable to fill the
hole that the loss had left in her life. In talking to friends,
Meryl discovered an insight shared by those who had successfully overcome
grief; there simply is no closure. It
was a
breakthrough for her. She writes, "Our loved ones will always
be with us if they are not forgotten. It is up to us to integrate
them into our lives in a positive way that reflects their unique
personality, values and spirituality. In that way we keep them alive in
our hearts and minds always."
Merylenlisted the help of her brother, Arthur Fischman, and her husband, Stewart
Ain, and began a quest to interview people who had moved beyond mourning
through meaningful action. The Living
Memories Project: Legacies That Last by Meryl Ain, Ed.D., Arthur M.
Fischman, & Stewart Ain (March 2014, Little Miami Publishing Company, Trade
Paperback, 196 pages, $18.95, ISBN:978-0-9882553-7-1) is a result of that
research.
The Living Memories Project presents more than 30
interviews with both celebrities and others who share their experiences and the
projects they undertook to memorialize their loved ones. The authors have
sought to demonstrate that any tribute, big or small, can be a meaningful way
to preserve memories of loved ones. Establishing a foundation or scholarship, using a recipe on a particular holiday or family occasion, creating artwork, embarking on a project or even an entire career – all
could be traced to a specific talent, interest or value of the deceased. Each chapter offers a rich first-person
history that will engage and inspire readers of all faiths.
Among
them are:
- Linda Ruth Tosetti, who made a documentary
film about her grandfather, Babe Ruth, to highlight his humanitarian side
– a value she cherished and believed was often overlooked in Babe’s
biography. Ruth was a German-American, who publicly denounced the Nazi
persecution of the Jews in 1942. - Liz and Steve Alderman, who established the
Peter C. Alderman Foundation to honor the memory of their 25-year-old son,
who was killed on 9/11 at the World
Trade Center.
The foundation trains doctors and establishes mental health clinics on
four continents to treat PTSD. - Eileen Belmont, a quilt designer who
helps others preserve their memories of deceased loved ones through the
creation of memory quilts. - Singer/songwriter Jen Chapin (daughter of the
late folk rock icon Harry Chapin), who carries on her father’s legacy of
music and feeding the hungry. - Dr. Yeou-Cheng Ma (sister of Yo-Yo Ma), who
keeps the memory of her father and music teacher /mentor alive through the Children's Orchestra Society and her poetry. - Robert Meeropol (son of Julius and Ethel
Rosenberg, who were executed as spies by the US Government in 1953), who
established the Rosenberg Fund for Children to help children whose parents
are imprisoned. - Author, actor and raconteur Malachy McCourt,
who presents his unique take on how he keeps alive the memory of his
brother Frank (Angela's Ashes)
through the Irish tradition of song and story.
Not
everyone can create a foundation, fund an orchestra or make a documentary film,
but the authors' hope is that readers will find inspiration from the wide range
of actions they read about. The authors are currently compiling narratives for
the second volume of The Living Memories
Project and welcome input from readers.
Book Excerpt:
Liz and Steve Alderman of Westchester, New
York, set up the Peter C. Alderman Foundation to
honor the memory of their twenty-five-year-old son, who was killed on 9/11 at
the World Trade Center.
In the past seven years, the foundation has trained 385 doctors in twenty
countries on four continents and opened nine mental health clinics to treat
posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and mental depression in countries such as
Rwanda,
Haiti,
Uganda,and
Cambodia.
The foundation-trained staff has treated more than one hundred thousand
patients and has partnerships with the governments of Rwanda, Angola, and Cambodia.
Barron’s named the foundation one of the ten best small foundations or
charities in the United
States. The Aldermans received the Purpose
Prize, which honors American social entrepreneurs over the age of sixty.
SHORTLY AFTER HE DIED, his friends needed to be together and to be with us. So his friends
got in cars from all over the country and drove here. We ended up having over
250 of his friends at our home a week and a day after he died.
His hobby was relationships. He was not the
honor student who became an honor student after he died. His brother, who is
six years older, said when I grow up I want to be like Pete. In fact, we have
an arm of the foundation called Friends of Peter Alderman. These kids every
year get together and raise money for the foundation. They raise a lot of
money. They just had a walk-a-thon that netted over seventy thousand dollars.
These are his friends and they are still part of our lives. The tough part is,
we are invited to their weddings and they bring their children to see us. It’s
very difficult, but we would still rather have them in our lives than not.
We knew we had to create our own memorial for
Peter. We really didn’t know what to do. And then we saw a Nightline broadcast that said one billion people in this world—one-sixth of
humanity—have directly experienced torture terrorism and, of those who have
survived, over 50 percent suffer debilitating traumatic depression and
posttraumatic stress disorder. They can’t work, children can’t go to school,
and some people can’t even leave their beds.
There was nothing we could do for Peter, but if
we could return the survivors of terrorism to life, then that would be the
perfect memorial because Peter so loved life.
We are building and contributing significantly
to the evidence that tells us that psychiatry in postconflict countries is at
the center of recovery. On a personal level, the work is terribly, terribly
important. It is a reason to get out of bed every morning and function at a
high level. We feel really, really good about the people we are able to help
and the doctors we are meeting along the way.
The main reason for starting this is that we
wanted to leave a mark that Peter existed on this earth. He died at a very
young age. We believe that we have left a profound and indelible mark that
Peter existed; the world is a better place because he lived. Peter loved life
and if we can return people to life so that they can live their lives, that is
the perfect way to memorialize him….
My Review:
The Living Memories Project is a book that I just could not pass up. I have lost 3 loved ones all 4 years apart, the most recent being less than 2 months ago - a sudden and tragic end to someone very near and dear to my family. With a heavy heart I began to read. What I found was both wonderful in that I was reminded of many great memories of each one of those who have passed before me - as well as sadness that they are no longer with me here on this earth.
I love that this book, and the authors have taken what is many times devastating to the lives of those left behind and inspires us to pass on our memories to others - to share the impact that they each had on our lives, as well as start the journey to healing by remembering the good and wonderful moments we had together. A wonderful book for anyone to read.
Disclosure: I received free the item(s) mentioned in this post in exchange for my honest review. Regardless ~ All my reviews are my honest and personal opinion. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”.
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